If Only

by Cheryl Merrick

If only I’d been watching
If only I’d trusted him more

If only I’d said something
If only I’d kept my mouth shut

I only I’d thought of that
If only I hadn’t remembered


If only I’d been faster
If only I’d not rushed in so quickly

If only I’d spoken up
If only I’d been more patient

If only I’d spent more time with her
If only I’d allowed him more time alone

If only I’d set firmer rules
If only I’d allowed him more freedom

If only I’d taught her more
If only I’d allowed him to discover more

If only I’d shared my faith more
If only I’d not been so pushy

If only I’d been more fun
If only I’d been firmer on discipline

If only I hadn’t hovered so much
If only I’d given more direction

If only I’d tried harder
If only I’s relaxed more

Haunted by thoughts of
If only I’d given more time
or shown more love,
I forget that we are just
parents in training,
Learning as we go,
Trusting in the Lord
to make up for all our weaknesses.
So we proceed in faith,
stumbling through parenthood,
aware that both
in spite of, and because of our efforts
our children grow