With You

by Cheryl Merrick
With you, my love,
nothing seems impossible
as we walk with God.

Together, Change can be fun,

Challenge is an adventure,

Disappointments are only temporary,

Projects are doable,

and all things become 

opportunities for growth. 

My husband and I are at Valley of Fire in Nevada. Our first outing since I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer.

Gazing at Old Photos

by Cheryl Merrick

Seeing my younger self,
I remember when life

stretched endlessly before me

so full of possibilities. 

Filled with sparkling optimism,

I faced forward gazing

into the vastness of my future.

Now, fifty years have passed.

With knowing eyes,

I look back at my younger self

and smile. 

Time to Say Goodbye

 by Cheryl Merrick

It is time for us to say goodbye

to a humble, loving man.

Desiring to be with your family,

you have bravely suffered

pain, treatments, and therapy.

The last 20 years have passed too quickly,

as you have fought to remain here

continually giving us your love and support.

Turning 70

by Cheryl Merrick

Seventy seemed sooo old

when I was a child.

Now, it seems sooo long ago

when I naively determined 

that I would never "let"

myself become old.

Youth and middle age have long passed

til here I am a "senior" complete with 

crinkled skin and frail health,

but also with a more loving heart 

softened by the things I have suffered.

Slowly over the years, 

the abrasion caused by 

each sorrow and challenge

has worked to polish my soul. 

Meeting Needs

by Cheryl Merrick
Yes, she is weak and incompetent,
but strength comes 
from facing hard things.

Yes, she is lonely,
but when you shut yourself
in your home,
refusing to reach out in love,
you cannot expect anything else.

A Woman in Winter

by Cheryl Merrick

Shut in her home,
the woman huddles
in her ever darkening room.
Cold and lonely, 
she spends her days lost in viewing 
old photo albums and scrapbooks;
memories of summer;
a time when she basked 
in the warmth of having
her husband and young children
surrounding her; needing her. 

Now it is winter,
her husband, long dead,
has left her to continue alone.
Her children, now grown and far away,
have little time to spend with her
for they are busily raising their children
and enjoying their own summer.

Carrying Capacity

by Cheryl Merrick
After five days in a small trailer
with no laundry or dishes to do,
or house to clean, 
I relax.

Though glad to be home again,
I'm suddenly overwhelmed.
There is so much to do! 
Must I do everything?
Can I remain relaxed?
No, my headache, tight neck, 
aching jaw, and upset stomach 
declare I can't!

First Couple Vacation

by Cheryl Merrick
Apprehensive about leaving
the security of home,
but eager for new sights,
we begin down the road.

Enjoying quiet talks as we ramble
through cactus filled desert, 
we spend five days together,
but never one moment alone.

With our trailer growing ever smaller,
we share adventures,
till finally,
we are home safe again. 

Truly Over

by Cheryl Merrick

I moaned and yearned
for what I didn't have.
Resigning myself to
a lonely existence in my home,
I sorrowed for my lost
health and opportunities.
Oh, how I wanted to hike and dance.
I longed for a newer home
with lovely cabinets.

Being nearly 70,
my life was set.
Or was it?

Seasons

by Cheryl Merrick
Seasons
(Read by one person)                 (read in unison)                          (read by other person)

Winter

Hobbling                                                                       Hopping
                                           to the window,
the old man                                                                   the young boy
                                           definitively declares,
“Too cold out there!”                                                   “Great sledding!”
                                           and so, with one last               
chilling glare,                                                                longing glance,
the old man                                                                   the young boy
settles back in                                                               rushes from
 his chair,                                                                      the room,
                                            thinking
                                            of snow,
                                            and hoping it
will soon                                                                       will not
                                             melt.

Age Adjustment

by Cheryl Merrick

Now that my eyes are "fixed",
   the ptergium growth and cataracts removed,
I expected to immerse myself in reading
    and work on the computer as long as I wanted,
but my aching 67 year old eyes
   reminded me that they tire quickly.

As my body gains strength,
I envision long energetic hikes,
only to find that my several injuries
     and weak adrenal glands
dictate a more sedate ramble.

Yes my ageing body will never return to
    its youthful state in this life,
but it has given me both the wisdom and capacity
    to live a life more full, balanced, and loveing
than I have never known before.

We're Home!

by Cheryl Merrick

Everything is strange.
I don't even recognize the trees or birds.
Who lives in the houses around us?
Where are the stores and parks?

Having trouble sleeping,
I open my eyes at night
and gaze apprehensively
into the dark cavernous living room.

I feel lost and so alone.
This new house doesn't feel like "Home",
but our old house doesn't either.

The Road

by Cheryl Merrick

Those on the road
rush home each evening
to waste their time,
either sitting mesmerized in front of their TV,
 or flitting from post to post,
caught like moths in their computer's glow.

Each morning they arise and begin another day
stuffed with fast food, rush hours, throbbing music,
appointments, lessons,  work, and shopping
till their closets bulge with unneeded things,
their heads spin and their eyes glaze.

Trying on Hats

by Cheryl Merrick

My first was a princess crown,
glittering in the glow of indulgent parents,
shining new as I was the first child and grandchild.

I felt I could have been happy with my crown forever,
but one day my crown disappeared.
In its place was a modest dutiful daughter bonnet,
complete with two lists of detailed expectations;
  one from mom and the other from dad.
This hat became increasingly tight and restrictive,
and eventually fell apart due to stress.

Never and Always

by Cheryl Merrick

I was never going to
lose my temper
yell at my children
put on weight
become out of shape
take pills
or get old.

My home would
always be clean and neat;
My children
kind and obedient;
And my heart
loving and giving.

Through years filled with
“nevers” that happened,
and those “always” which didn’t,
I no longer boast of my own strength,
Instead, I live
Trusting in His mercy and power
to perfect my weaknesses.
3/23/08

Fitness

by Cheryl Merrick

Not Me!

As a child,
I looked with disdain
at older people.

Didn’t they have any pride?

Why didn’t they
take care of themselves?

Look at that old woman:
tennis shoes and socks,
short, short hairstyle,
punchy stomach,
wrinkled skin,
and flabby arms
and body.

Doesn’t she want
to be fit and attractive?

Doesn’t she care?

Competition

by Cheryl Merrick

The young women glance around
     comparing themselves to each other,
     ranking their competition,
     with a much practiced eye for details.
Constantly anxious of their appearance
     they worry through their days,
     vying for the attention
of the young men.

As the days became years;
     many, many years,
In the security of an eternal relationship,
     her anxiousness mellowed
     into a comfortableness with herself.
Though sometimes,
     glancing at her matronly figure,
     she wistfully remembers
     those days of competition.

Settling Down

by Cheryl Merrick

Finally our life is settling down
Our business seems to be solidly  on its way
and my husband is enjoying doing
maintenance work for companies
We have time to be together,
visit with others,
and do things around our home
My strength and energy is increasing
as the stress is lessening
Our home is simple and
the plastics are mainly gone or in the den
I am learning to set limits in my life
Particularly limiting details--
LDS.org feedback, family history, emails, etc.
to just two hours a day
And reserving time and energy
for study, meditation, writing, and thinking
The days of constantly pushing ourselves
Are Over
Things are finally
Settling Down

Solid Ground

by Cheryl Merrick

We were trying,
but peace was gone and stress was increasing.
Why were we feeling so stressed
with our business, our home, my health,
working at the post office, volunteering at the school,
family relationships, and serving in the Church?

To Young Mothers

by Cheryl Merrick

My table stands trim in its neat tablecloth.
  Its usual covering of books and half eaten food
now only stale memories.
My floor extends out in an unbroken expanse.
The toys which once dotted it
long since broken, or stored in the attic.
Walls, cupboards and sinks gleam in pristine whiteness,
no longer muddied by small industrious hands.
Coats hang conscientiously on their hooks,
instead of massing in huddles on the floor.
Shoes remain steadfastly with their mate,
having given up their earlier mischievous ways
of hiding behind sofas and beds.
At last, my home has become a place
of peace and order.
A place to be envied and aspired to
by the harried young mother.
I smile serenely, knowing that in time, she too,
will achieve this state of grace
when her children, like mine, are grown.