My Island

by Cheryl Merrick

Warily, I watch as the waves
of pressing duties
pound upon my shore.

Frustrated, I cry as the icy waters
of reality cover my small land; 

Til my lofty pillars of thought
lie submerged, unseen,
beneath the flood of responsibilities.

I watch 
as the current of details
swirls around them, and
the beauty of my sandcastle creations
dissolves back into sand.

The Higher Road

by Cheryl Merrick
I stand at the fork in the road,
  as I have many times before.
Hesitating, 
  I gaze at my well trod path
  of sacrificing my life for others.
Once it seemed so noble.
Day after day I pushed myself,
  supposedly making others happy,
  till, reaching my end,
  I collapsed in bed,
  unable to move.

Impressed

by Cheryl Merrick

When we met at college
I noted as you unselfishly
enabled the women on your co-ed
volleyball team to score.
You stood out from the other men 
who grabbed and pushed
as they sought to show off
their prowess.

I watched when you shared your car and skills
by giving people rides to the city
and by teaching a genealogy class.
So when you asked me out,
I enthusiastically said, "Yes!"

A Writer's Life

by Cheryl Merrick

I thought I'd write in my spare time,
perhaps late at night
when everyone is in bed
and all my "work" is done.

So dutifully I pushed though the day,
doing all the little things which "must be done",
until I found myself too exhausted to write
when evening finally came.

Removing Rocks

by Cheryl Merrick

Like carrying rocks,
my back bends
beneath the heavy
load of details

Til, staggering,
I can barely move,
and my mind whirls
in a haze of exhaustion,

Unable to go on,
I empty out my bulging pack.
What must I return?

Driving

by Cheryl Merrick

Fearfully, I take my position
    with both hands gripping the wheel
   and both feet hovering over the pedals.
Hesitantly I turn the key.

Jerkily, I proceed
    constantly gazing into my mirrors,
    ever anxious to please,
    ever seeking conformation from others
that I’m heading the right direction.

Anticipation

by Cheryl Merrick

Anticipating a relaxing hour
sitting in the sun writing,
I quickly complete a few housekeeping details,
snuggling into my rocker,
I pick up my purple pen to write —Phone!
Enjoying a good talk with a friend,
I now realize that the time for writing is over
and try to console myself with a promise
to study after school is over.

Without

by Cheryl Merrick

Wanting to obtain a sense of

Being needed
without anyone being in need
Feeling compassion
without ever suffering
Acquiring understanding
without experience
Having patience
without having to wait
Growing in love
without heartache
Having health
without effort
Developing faith
without struggle
Desiring progress
without meeting challenges
Wanting growth
without pain

Seeking  these Impossibilities
would lead me only to an unhappy existence
without ever experiencing true perfecting life

Wishes and Costs

by Cheryl Merrick

I wish I had your family
Cost: 35 years of study, prayer, and communication

I wish I could run like you
Cost: 6 hours a week early morning running for 10 years; plus sweat

I wish I had your job
Cost: 4 years of college; 10 years of underpaid jobs while working way up ladder

When

by Cheryl Merrick

When Will I Be Happy?

I will be happy when:
I get through school
When I fall in love
When I get married
When I have a baby
When our relationship is better
When I have more children
When I have my own home
When it is paid for

Weary

by Cheryl Merrick

I am weary of people who,
in their immaturity,
expect me to shoulder their consequences.
I am weary of people who,
making poor choices,
expect me to make it right.
I am weary of people who,
expending no effort,
expect me to make them happy.
I am weary of people who,
neglecting to plan,
expect me to make exceptions for them.
Yes, this is a weary load,
But it is not mine to carry.

Wayward Child

by Cheryl Merrick

My heart aches for you
as I watch you
learn from your own experience
that wickedness never was happiness.

Feeling you suffer
the consequences of your acts,
I long to comfort you
but I cannot,
for in your quest for freedom
you have willfully stepped
off the only path
that could have brought
you happiness.

Waiting for Golden Tickets

by Cheryl Merrick

I will be Happy when:

I have good health;
free to eat, and go and do whatever I want
All my family and friends are happy;
well, spiritually strong, and financially secure
My life is exciting;
filled with travel, challenge, and meaningful activity
My home is beautiful;
repaired, finished, and painted
All the temple work is done for my ancestors;
research, sealings, and stories
I look as I used to look:
trim, no double chin, or wrinkles
I have plenty of relaxing time;
for meditation, writing, and study
I feel totally loved by all;
accepted, understood, and supported
I and my family are sanctified;
complete, whole and pure

I will be Happy when I stop waiting
for Golden Tickets

Pacing

by Cheryl Merrick

After listening to Conference*
I know I need to change.
I am a creative person
who doesn’t enjoy structure.
Consequently,
I do what I feel like
then find undone
what I really wanted,
or needed to do.

Growing Up

by Cheryl Merrick

As a child angrily pounds on his father’s leg,
screaming, “You don’t love me!”,
we threaten to withhold our love
from God
if He does not immediately
give us all we desire.
After all, we, in our toddlers wisdom,
feel sure we now know what is best for us.
At least, we know we want it right now,
and our father should give it to us.
If He truly loves us, wouldn’t He want us to be happy?
With a surety breed from ignorance and arrogance,
we constantly test Our Father’s love,
demanding His immediate fulfillment
of our every desire.
In peace He stands,
enduring our childish blows and shrill screams,
our pouting and our sulking.
In love He withholds what would harm us,
waiting for us
to accept His wisdom
and begin growing up.

Retirement -- At Last!

by Cheryl Merrick

It is time to enjoy being together
when I’m not completely exhausted.
It is time for my husband to lighten my load
by helping with the cooking, laundry, and cleaning.
It is time to relax and read in the evenings

Time to talk, share, and plan together
Time to putter in the house, garage, and yard
Time to ride with him as he does errands
Time to get out of the house more
Time to have my husband’s help with home projects
It is time to do family history, serve a mission,
and devote time to the Lord’s kingdom.

Reflections On

by Cheryl Merrick

Three Months of being a Church Service Missionary*

Day after day they send me their requests.
Half are polite, reasonable questions on how to use the LDS.org web site.
The rest are prideful criticisms and demands, and a few are pleas for help.

Preferring hearsay to the Lords’s invitation to study, ponder and pray,
Many drift aimlessly; confused and unsure.
While others want only to return to the comfort of the familiar,
refusing to learn anything new.

Voices

by Cheryl Merrick

The tired woman puts her hands to her ears,
Her mind reeling with all the voices,
Some loudly demanding:
The baby’s cry,
The toddler’s scream,
Her school children’s calls for assistance,
The PTA’s request for cookies,
The Church’s appeal for help with the program.
Her mind is also crowded with silent voices:
the teen’s unvoiced plea for advice,
her husband’s quiet need for support,
her mother’s lonely call from far away,
the sorrowing neighbor’s emptiness.

Many Voices

by Cheryl Merrick

Cheery calls
announce their busyness
as they bustle past one another.

Martyred sighs
proclaim
their myriad responsibilities.

Modulated tones
innumerate
all the tasks to be done that day.

Marshaling shouts
rally troops
to get the job done.

And Appreciative voices
raise in praise
of those who’ve helped work.

Fledgling

by Cheryl Merrick

Tromping upon the fallen cherries,
the young robin begs, with open mouth,
for its parent to feed him.

Ignoring the persistent cries,
the adult calmly continues to show the way,
Til eventually,
the frustrated fledgling
bends down and begins to feast.