What I choose

Do I value
the popular and conventional

or the uniquely beautiful?

Do I follow social customs

or true principles?

Am I content to stay as I am

or do I have a drive to reach higher?

Do I believe that "it can't be done"

or that "the impossible only 

takes a little longer"?

Who I Am

 by Cheryl Merrick

Am I a wife who spends 

her time and energies

endlessly waiting on "her man"?

No, but I do endlessly give

support and encouragement.

Am I a mom who hovers 

over my children 

always "caring" for them? 

Not really, but I am always there

to cheer them on as they

learn to solve their problems.

Winter Night

by Cheryl Merrick

Moon- full disk of glowing light
high in the winter sky

Trees- dark silhouettes
trailing shadows behind them

Stars- distant points of light
punctuating the velvet expanse

As winter's intense stillness

enfolds the night in beauty

Thoughts on a full moon in December

Christmas 2020

by Cheryl Merrick

This year Christmas

is different.

The normal holiday bustle

has slowed to more of an amble.

The social frenzy has fizzled,

and our myopic focus on 

finding "the perfect gift"

has enlarged, 

as realizing how important

our families are to us,

we are filled with a longing 

to just be with them.

Facing a pandemic, death of loved ones,

unemployment, and civil unrest

has made us more

aware of our vulnerabilities

and grateful that 

our Savior came to earth 

to show us how to live

and to give us hope.

Not Alone

 by Cheryl Merrick

Silence hangs over my home

like a crushing weight

pressing in upon me.

Fighting the quiet,

I try to fill it with my words

as I remember all our

pleasant conversations,

but my speech only echos 

off the hard stillness. 

Time to Say Goodbye

 by Cheryl Merrick

It is time for us to say goodbye

to a humble, loving man.

Desiring to be with your family,

you have bravely suffered

pain, treatments, and therapy.

The last 20 years have passed too quickly,

as you have fought to remain here

continually giving us your love and support.

Succumbing to the Expected

by Cheryl Merrick

Accepting both my doom and my duty,

I plodded through my day

doing what is expected of me.

Diligently trying to meet

others mundane needs and wants,

I unwisely accepted the judgement 

that while their gifts are useful

mine are merely frivolous.

This is how, conceding to the expected,

my sparkling creative light

was carefully hidden and nearly forgotten

under a smothering, dark basket.

I wrote this in December of 2019, but never posted it. Since then, I have continued to largely suppress my creative talents allowing endless details to consume my time and energies, so I posted this now to remind me to change my ways. 

A Frog's Advice on the Danger of the Slow Boil

by Cheryl Merrick

At first the cool water feels invigorating.
I swim and splash thoroughly enjoying it.
I enjoy the sense of freedom
to be able to do things 
that I've wanted to for so long.

Though it's a little warmer now,
I feel even better.
With my muscles relaxed, 

I get so much done!

Life is great!

Time to Be Myself

by Cheryl Merrick

Over and over again,
I push myself
to meet the needs
of those around me.

Each day, the struggle
to be what I'm not
weighs on me,
til tired and grouchy,
I finally collapse 
into an exhausted heap.

The love and support
I've bestowed on family and friends
becomes just a memory
as I withdraw into myself to recharge
before my light extinguishes,

and it is only after days of healing,

that I am able to reach out again.

Reformation

by Cheryl Merrick

I. Accepting reality
Doomed to endlessly repeat my actions, 
like in the movie, Groundhog Day, 
until I "get it right,"
I reluctantly acknowledge that 
I must accept reality.

What must I accept?

Long Gone

by Cheryl Merrick

In a day of growing darkness

when hearts have hardened past feeling,

Shouts of revenge,

born from frenzied minds,

shatter the peace,

as hoards waving banners

spill into the street

seeking to destroy all those

who refuse to follow

their current cause.

Now, the shouts have 

     died away to nothingness.

Now, the streets lie 

     shrouded in eery stillness.
Now, their causes fade, 

     forgotten, into oblivion. 
Now, only history remembers 

     this once great civilization
     sadly recounting the fatal flaws 

     of a people long gone.

Can We Know?

by Cheryl Merrick

Can we know triumph

     without first experiencing struggle? 

Accomplishment without expending effort?

Self-confidence without facing challenges?

Courage without standing up to our fears?

Faith without exercising hope?

Love without feeling sorrow?

or Compassion without enduring suffering?

Could we be truly good 

      without refusing the bad?

Have moral strength 

     without developing discipline?

Integrity without living moral principles?

Honor without showing valour?

or Strong character without 

     being tempered by hardships?

Serenity

by Cheryl Merrick

Clearing away all 

the cluttering shoulds,

I can at last relax

and, finally being myself,

share who I am. 

The precious jewels of

truth, beauty, and love

sparkle in their simplicity 

filling my life with 

a sweet serenity. 

Soar Through the Day

by Cheryl Merrick

Listening to the light,

feelings of serenity 

enfold me as 

I soar through the day.

Turning 70

by Cheryl Merrick

Seventy seemed sooo old

when I was a child.

Now, it seems sooo long ago

when I naively determined 

that I would never "let"

myself become old.

Youth and middle age have long passed

til here I am a "senior" complete with 

crinkled skin and frail health,

but also with a more loving heart 

softened by the things I have suffered.

Slowly over the years, 

the abrasion caused by 

each sorrow and challenge

has worked to polish my soul. 

In Appreciation to a Special Father

by Cheryl Merrick

To a special father 

who shares with his children

his enthusiasm for life

as he leads them up

boulder strewn hills,

or takes them exploring 

the world one fun 

experiment at a time.

A father who

encourages them 

to savor both the flavors

of each dish created together,

and the sounds 

of good words read together.

Harbinger

by Cheryl Merrick

Welcoming the day

with a soft peach glow.

Harbinger of hope

and endless possibilities.

The new day's gold lit clouds

invite us to share

the best within us.

For Me

by Cheryl Merrick

He knows me.

He knows my pains.

He is aware of my hidden sorrows.

Knowing that my burdens are

more than I can bear,

He willingly suffered,

so my burdens could be light.

He has paid for all,

making the wrongs right,

and healing my heart.

He is there to help me, 

strengthen, and comfort me,

so I never have to face life alone. 

Through His love for me,

He has set me free.

Lessons to Learn

by Cheryl Merrick

Once again, I'm sitting here 

exhausted, sad, and frustrated.

My body's reserves gone,

I wonder how I can 

avoid "crashing" again.

What must I change?

What lessons do I need to learn?

Why do I push myself?

Waiting

by Cheryl Merrick

Seeing you huddling

    behind your wall,

I toss over notes of love,

offering you the love 

    you were unable to give to me;

Til, sorrowfully,

I must finally accept

that you are unable to feel my heart;

to either give or receive love.

My Life as a Kitchen Implement

by Cheryl Merrick

Trying to find my place

    in the kitchen,

I tried whipping and stirring --

    pathic, and it took forever!

I tried rolling out dough --

    another dismal failure.

I wasn't too bad at making

    holes in pastry crust,

How did it happen?

by Cheryl Merrick

When did I become overstressed?
How did it happen?
Was it in all the hours I held
     my colicly newborn grandson?
Was it when I moved our things 
     out into the garage,
     so we could paint our home?
Did it happen during all those summer 
     months living in our garage?

Empty Bucket/ Refilling

by Cheryl Merrick

Regretfully, 
I gaze into my nearly empty bucket
realizing, 
in my eagerness to help others,
I've forgotten that buckets
must be refilled.