A New Year Begins

by Cheryl Merrick

Brashly announcing its entrance
 with horns and bells,
the New Year soon settles, 
gratefully, back into familiar routine. 

Fading are the sound of bells.
Dimming are the twinkling lights.
With the gifts given and 
the festive meals eaten,
the jovial bustle of the holiday season
quickly dissolves into 
an amiable quietness.

The Enigma

by Cheryl Merrick

Some step back from me
     fearfully keeping a "safe" distance
     from such a "mysterious" person.

Some find me amusingly eccentric,
     while others see my unconventional ways
     as aberrations which need correcting.

Wasted

by Cheryl Merrick

Like a jeweler's file
used as a tooth pick,
or a piano leg
wielded as a hammer;

Like a race horse
pulling a plow,
or a book merely
adorning a shelf;

Gratitude Thanksgiving 2018

by Cheryl Merrick

My eyesight has returned
and with it the joy 
of reading and writing again.

There has been sweet moments 
spent with our little granddaughter 
answering all her "why" questions.

My Island

by Cheryl Merrick

Warily, I watch as the waves
of pressing duties
pound upon my shore.

Frustrated, I cry as the icy waters
of reality cover my small land; 

Til my lofty pillars of thought
lie submerged, unseen,
beneath the flood of responsibilities.

I watch 
as the current of details
swirls around them, and
the beauty of my sandcastle creations
dissolves back into sand.

The Enabler Revolts!

by Cheryl Merrick
I've had enough of "guilt trips"
  being used to control me. 

I'm tired of being told
  that if I don't meet everyone's needs,
  I'm a bad person.

I'm had enough of being told that 
  only evil, selfish people
  wouldn't want to live 
  just to make others "happy". 

Meeting Needs

by Cheryl Merrick
Yes, she is weak and incompetent,
but strength comes 
from facing hard things.

Yes, she is lonely,
but when you shut yourself
in your home,
refusing to reach out in love,
you cannot expect anything else.

Sacrifice

by Cheryl Merrick
Giving up something of lesser value
for something of greater value
is an expression of great wisdom
and ofttimes the offering 
of a loving heart.

Giving up something of greater value
for something of lesser value
is an exercise in stupidity 
which myopically reflects 
a self-absorbed life.

Is She More Loving?

by Cheryl Merrick
If she puts others' wants,
  before her needs?

If she constantly exhausts herself,
  because her family needs her?

If she neglects her health,
  because "there is simply too much to do"?

If she hovers over her children
  doing every little thing for them?

The Higher Road

by Cheryl Merrick
I stand at the fork in the road,
  as I have many times before.
Hesitating, 
  I gaze at my well trod path
  of sacrificing my life for others.
Once it seemed so noble.
Day after day I pushed myself,
  supposedly making others happy,
  till, reaching my end,
  I collapsed in bed,
  unable to move.

I'm Here At Last!

by Cheryl Merrick
Though, it has taken six months; 
the fog has finally lifted.
The constant, crushing fatigue is abating.
No longer am I stumbling around:
dopy, confused, and jittery.

Relishing the ability to think, 
 remember, see, and move; 
 I care for myself.
Hopeful that my hard earned
 ability to make competent decisions
 will ensure continued health;
 I face each day. 

They May Never Know

by Cheryl Merrick

Thanking me, 

the widows express appreciation

for my remembering them.

I smile, 

knowing that they may never know

how much I also need their friendship

and long for the support 

of mothers and sisters.

Seeing What I Have

by Cheryl Merrick
Seeing tender love in my husband's eyes,
Feeling the warmth in friends and family's hearts,
Experiencing opportunities to love in return,
to teach, counsel, and inspire,
I feel loved.

My words of gratitude
reach upward as
His love fills
my soul.

Some People

by Cheryl Merrick
Some people feel that,
"Life is a banquet, and most
poor suckers are starving to death!"
They pack each moment with as much
"livin'" as possible for,
"There's music to play, places to go,
and people to see!"
Their parties are filled with good food,
and the laughter of many people.
These are the enjoyers of life.

Other choose the quiet path
"less traveled by".
Deeply breathing in the scent of fall,
they savor the soft crunch of leaves under foot
 and the distant call of birds,
as they walk along absorbed in contemplation.
These are those who search for the meaning of life.

Boundaries

by Cheryl Merrick
Boundaries quietly
define who I am:
What I like
and what I don't;
What I can do
and the things I can't;
What tires me
and what energizes me;
What drains me
and what fulfills me.

Boundaries
garner my time
and energies,
and allow relationships
to deepen,
as they provide stillness
to restore my soul.

2018 Thoughts

by Cheryl Merrick
I simply state the obvious, but God has given me the gift to state it well.

What Do I Long For?

by Cheryl Merrick
I long for time to rest, 
time to think and ponder,
and time to enjoy nature.

I long for time
 to build relationships,
 with God, my family,
 and with friends.

I long for time to grow,
time to study, write,  
and care for myself.

I long for time to serve,
time to tend grandchildren,
time to send encouraging notes,
and time do family history.

Most of all,
I long to be still
and have the time 
to live a simple life. 

Simple Lessons

by Cheryl Merrick
Some lessons are simple:
"You can't take more
out of a bucket,
than you put into it",
and "You can't reap what 
you have not sown."

Logically I understand,
but when it comes to
patiently and slowly
filling my bucket,
or carefully sowing
and nurturing my field,
my understanding vanishes.

A Woman in Winter

by Cheryl Merrick

Shut in her home,
the woman huddles
in her ever darkening room.
Cold and lonely, 
she spends her days lost in viewing 
old photo albums and scrapbooks;
memories of summer;
a time when she basked 
in the warmth of having
her husband and young children
surrounding her; needing her. 

Now it is winter,
her husband, long dead,
has left her to continue alone.
Her children, now grown and far away,
have little time to spend with her
for they are busily raising their children
and enjoying their own summer.

Leading

by Cheryl Merrick

Will I choose to lead the way
back  to our heavenly home,
or will I follow others
aimless ramblings?

Will I set a righteous example
as I strive to follow the Lord,
or will I simply demonstrate
mindless obedience?

Will I soar through the clouds,
or become lost caring for things?

Will I bury my talents,
 or share them?

Which do I choose?
Fulfillment or suppression?
The choice is mine.

Soaring and Rocks

by Cheryl Merrick

Like a bird soaring
high above the ground,
I see patterns below me
and am warmed 
by the light from above.

Not built for rock moving,
I collapse in exhaustion
beside my the pitiful pile
-- my full day's work.

Having chosen the earth
where his strength is needed,
the powerful draft horse
sees my plight.

In a few hours he has
all my rocks neatly piled
where they need to be.

Satisfied with his accomplishment,
he listens to my tales
of the view from the sky. 

Grateful for Weaknesses

by Cheryl Merrick

Blessed with an astounding intuitive ability
to see and foresee patterns of human behavior, 
I feel humbly grateful.

Preferring intuition over sensing
also makes me astoundingly weak
in handling the many details of life.

This weakness has brought me 
tears, frustration, embarrassment, 
and finally to my knees 
humbly begging God for His help
in coping with the small things
that others do so easily.

Making a Choice

by Cheryl Merrick
The decision is logical.
Like using your "other" hand,
using your weakest ability
quickly generates stress.

I know this well
for I have frequently suppressed
my strongest ability.
Fearing social disapproval
and not wanting to disappoint those I love,  
rather than developing the talents God has given me,
I chose instead do what others expected of me. 
Of course, it doesn't take long 
before I collapse in exhaustion. 

Carrying Capacity

by Cheryl Merrick
After five days in a small trailer
with no laundry or dishes to do,
or house to clean, 
I relax.

Though glad to be home again,
I'm suddenly overwhelmed.
There is so much to do! 
Must I do everything?
Can I remain relaxed?
No, my headache, tight neck, 
aching jaw, and upset stomach 
declare I can't!

First Couple Vacation

by Cheryl Merrick
Apprehensive about leaving
the security of home,
but eager for new sights,
we begin down the road.

Enjoying quiet talks as we ramble
through cactus filled desert, 
we spend five days together,
but never one moment alone.

With our trailer growing ever smaller,
we share adventures,
till finally,
we are home safe again. 

Trip Ambiance

by Cheryl Merrick

Desert stretching to the horizon
Metro areas engulfing the land

Helpful, good people guiding us
Hardened, hopeless workers surviving

Elegant mountainside mansions
Rundown inner city houses

The quiet stillness of the saguaro desert
The frantic rushing of Phoenix, and Tucson

Wings

by Cheryl Merrick

Finding wings a hindrance
for life on the ground,
I give them up
to live with him.

Clumsily, I hobble over to the window.
I look up, pining, into the sky
longing to soar with grace again.

He comes,
presenting me tenderly
with a large white box --  
my wings!


*husband freeing me of details so I can study and write

The Binding

by Cheryl Merrick

Dragging my exhausted body along,
I force myself to do what others need;
     not what I am good at,
     not what I need.

Depressed, I continue on 
feeling my love
as a heavy chain
binding me to a life
of drudgery.

Lower and lower I sink,
my weariness growing heavier
as I allow myself 
to be bound to the rock. 


*as a dominant introverted intuitive I have little ability to handle details

Truly Over

by Cheryl Merrick

I moaned and yearned
for what I didn't have.
Resigning myself to
a lonely existence in my home,
I sorrowed for my lost
health and opportunities.
Oh, how I wanted to hike and dance.
I longed for a newer home
with lovely cabinets.

Being nearly 70,
my life was set.
Or was it?

Dreaming

by. Cheryl Merrick

Envisioning myself sitting on
a cabin porch enjoying the sun,
I wistfully sigh,
longing for moments to reflect and write.

Now a grandmother, realizing that
the busy days of child raising are over, 
I contentedly smile,
knowing that my time for dreams has come.

Focused

by Cheryl Merrick

Focused on what
is eternally important,
Listening to the Spirit,
I walk on the path
leading home. 

Determined

by Cheryl Merrick

I am determined 
to accomplish my mission in life,
to magnify my gifts,
to live each day happy and fulfilled,
to be a righteous example
to influence others for good. 

Just

by Cheryl Merrick
I know that it must be.
I know that I must change.
Yes, it is logical.
Yes, it is necessary
     for my health.
But how can I spend my time
     "just" thinking?
What have I to show for my day?
Where is my accomplishment?
What have I created?
Just me.

Mainstay

by Cheryl Merrick
Doing the unthinkable, 
I begin a new life.
My creation of ideas, 
poems, and articles,
once restricted 
to late nights and hours
when I am too tired to 
"really do something",
has finally become 
the mainstay of my day. 

Simply Isn't Done

by Cheryl Merrick
How can I do it?
Wives, mothers and homemakers
simply don't.

Intellectually, I know that
happy people spend their day
using their strongest abilities.

They build, bake, clean, repair,
bike, run, and 
some even create works of art or music,
but who creates ideas?

It is alright if you produce
a famous novel,
but to "just" sit for hours
thinking thoughts--
simply isn't done. 

Upside Down

by Cheryl Merrick
Doing what I felt
    I should;
Doing all the 
    "essential" nurturing things
I thought they needed, 
I lived my life --
    upside down

Only realizing later,
that what they remembered most 
was the time I spent with them,
listening and teaching--
right side up.

Yearning

by Cheryl Merrick
I'd rather read a book,
     than cook.
I have no desire to 
     "shop till I drop".
I haven't run an errand
     in years.
For birthdays, I bake
     poems not cakes.
I enjoy an orderly home,
     now that we have 
     few possessions.

Another Day

by Cheryl Merrick

Another day passes
     full of good things;
helping and serving.
A life lived for others.
A life lived caring for 
everyone's needs, 
but my own. 

Shining Brightly

by Cheryl Merrick

Afraid of appearing different,
I pause,
tempted to cover my light
with a politically correct basket.
I look up. 
As I do so, 
reflecting the Savior's great light,
my small light shines brightly,
its glow merging with the glow 
from myriads of others
who light the path home.