The Enabler Revolts!

by Cheryl Merrick
I've had enough of "guilt trips"
  being used to control me. 

I'm tired of being told
  that if I don't meet everyone's needs,
  I'm a bad person.

I'm had enough of being told that 
  only evil, selfish people
  wouldn't want to live 
  just to make others "happy". 




I'm tired of being manipulated
  into giving up my right
  to manage my own life. 

I've had it with having 
  to take responsibility
  for others' actions.

I'm no longer accepting
  that I'm so deficient, 
  inept, and "bad"
  that I don't deserve 
  to control my own life. 

I won't feel guilt
  because I "selfishly"
  won't allow myself 
  to be controlled by others.

I'm tired of letting
  myself be used
  just so another person 
  doesn't have to risk growing.

I'm tired of being pressured
  to completely surrender
  my will to another.

I've had it with being told
  it is selfish
  to care for myself. 

No longer will I accept
  that love is protecting
  another from life.

I've grown tired of my love
  being used as a chain
  to enslave me.

I'm weary of the constant vigilance
  required to detect 
  another's unspoken desires,
  then having to rush to meet them.

I'm tired of taking the abuse
  of constant critism
  and always being belittled.

I'm tired of a standard
  where a daughter
  is expected to always accede
  to her mother's "superior" wisdom.  

I'm exhausted with having
  to suppress my personality,
  opinions, talents, and competencies.

I'm tired of having to appear
  less than I am
  just so I won't intimidate
  a person who refuses to grow. 

I'm tired of having 
  every mistake another makes
  publicly blamed on me. 

I will no longer be dismissed
  as "only a child"
  when I am old enough
  to be a great-grandmother.

I no longer will be treated
  as if I was too incompetent
  to even care for myself.

I've had it with being told that
  the matriarch has the "right"
  to control the lives and 
  hard-earned resources
  of everyone in the family.

Nor do I believe she is entitled
  to a lifestyle superior to that 
  of any other family member.

I don't believe that it is the family's
  "duty" to give her 
  everything she desires. 

I don't accept that her demands
  are "fair" because, someday,
  I'll be the matriarch
  and have the "right"
  to abuse my children.

I do not believe that 
  the loneliness of a woman,
  who refuses to make friends,
  is justification for my abandoning
  my own husband, children, 
  and grandchildren.

I will not accept that another
  knows better than I
  what I need and want. 

I won't allow my faith
  to be used as a weapon
  to beat me into submission
  to her will.

I'm fed up with being told
  how "noble"  and "good" 
  it is to "sacrifice" 
  my happiness for her wants. 

I don't believe that a "loving person"
  never even mentions her needs,
  and constantly agrees with others.

I'm tired of being shamed
  if I question the matriarch's
  "evidence", goals, or wants. 

I'm tired of having my data
  dismissed because
  my memory is "faulty". 

I want to no longer merely exist
  to enable another 
  to hide from life. 

I will live my own life.