Lesson from the Elephant

by Cheryl Merrick

Firmly tied to a stake,

the baby elephant

struggles to free himself.

After days of effort, 

the exhausted baby,

surrenders to the belief 

that it can never 

free itself.

Finally grown,

though the adult elephant

now possesses 

immense strength,

it still allows itself 

to be bound by,

its now non-applicable,

childhood memories. 

Truly Over

by Cheryl Merrick

I moaned and yearned
for what I didn't have.
Resigning myself to
a lonely existence in my home,
I sorrowed for my lost
health and opportunities.
Oh, how I wanted to hike and dance.
I longed for a newer home
with lovely cabinets.

Being nearly 70,
my life was set.
Or was it?

Dreaming

by. Cheryl Merrick

Envisioning myself sitting on
a cabin porch enjoying the sun,
I wistfully sigh,
longing for moments to reflect and write.

Now a grandmother, realizing that
the busy days of child raising are over, 
I contentedly smile,
knowing that my time for dreams has come.

Immovable

by Cheryl Merrick

Like waves endlessly crashing
upon the stone cliff,
the mother's relentless taunts
selfishly strive to pull her daughter,
and all that she has, out to sea - to her.

The Matriarch,
claiming that she has the "right" to all family resources,
and that it is her children's duty to meet her needs
and enable her to live in her "deserved" affluent lifestyle,
relentlessly pounds upon her daughter
trying to use the love and faith of her daughter
as weapons to enslave her.

Impressed

by Cheryl Merrick

When we met at college
I noted as you unselfishly
enabled the women on your co-ed
volleyball team to score.
You stood out from the other men 
who grabbed and pushed
as they sought to show off
their prowess.

I watched when you shared your car and skills
by giving people rides to the city
and by teaching a genealogy class.
So when you asked me out,
I enthusiastically said, "Yes!"

Seasons

by Cheryl Merrick
Seasons
(Read by one person)                 (read in unison)                          (read by other person)

Winter

Hobbling                                                                       Hopping
                                           to the window,
the old man                                                                   the young boy
                                           definitively declares,
“Too cold out there!”                                                   “Great sledding!”
                                           and so, with one last               
chilling glare,                                                                longing glance,
the old man                                                                   the young boy
settles back in                                                               rushes from
 his chair,                                                                      the room,
                                            thinking
                                            of snow,
                                            and hoping it
will soon                                                                       will not
                                             melt.

Age Adjustment

by Cheryl Merrick

Now that my eyes are "fixed",
   the ptergium growth and cataracts removed,
I expected to immerse myself in reading
    and work on the computer as long as I wanted,
but my aching 67 year old eyes
   reminded me that they tire quickly.

As my body gains strength,
I envision long energetic hikes,
only to find that my several injuries
     and weak adrenal glands
dictate a more sedate ramble.

Yes my ageing body will never return to
    its youthful state in this life,
but it has given me both the wisdom and capacity
    to live a life more full, balanced, and loveing
than I have never known before.

Comment on recent Posts

I have just put in all of my old poems. Many I wrote twenty or thirty years ago. I smile now as I see how I struggled with accepting who I am, with being me. It has been challenging having been given a different personality and gifts, but now I stand happily with my head firmly in the clouds - writing, pondering the meaning of life, doing research, and teaching. Finally, I no longer feel I must be a busy homemaker, or bustling professional woman. I appreciate others gifts and no longer expect them to understand or appreciate mine. I am now content watching the clouds moving across the sky, and being who I am. 

Trying on Hats

by Cheryl Merrick

My first was a princess crown,
glittering in the glow of indulgent parents,
shining new as I was the first child and grandchild.

I felt I could have been happy with my crown forever,
but one day my crown disappeared.
In its place was a modest dutiful daughter bonnet,
complete with two lists of detailed expectations;
  one from mom and the other from dad.
This hat became increasingly tight and restrictive,
and eventually fell apart due to stress.

Crossing the Threshold

by Cheryl Merrick

Here I stand,
hesitating on the threshold,
Wanting to enter,
but afraid to leave
the security I have found.

Can I hold my boundaries?
Can I say, “No”.
Do I really need to do everything
everyone would like?
Can I stick to my principles?
Can I maintain reasonable limits
on all the going and doing?

Suppressed Feelings

by Cheryl Merrick

I’m tired of stressful relationships
I’m tired of trying to please unpleaseable people
I’m tired of our talents and resources being used
 to achieve other people’s goals
I’m tired of seeing our retirement money being consumed by a business
which has never given us any return
I’m tired of my husband working to support other’s comfortable lifestyle
I’m tired of living frugally so others can enjoy luxuries we can’t
I’m tired of giving all our extra time, energies, and resources to people who just use us
I’m tired of exhausting myself to provide unappreciated
and unneeded help to others
I’m tired of supporting people who need to stand on their own feet
I want to step back and allow our grown children
to solve their own problems
I’m tired of waiting for a turn which never comes.

Melody and Refrain

by Cheryl Merrick

Like old forgotten refrains
Memories of a past life
Softly touch my mind

Memories of a young woman
Who laughed, danced, and played,
Who weekly invited people over for dinner,
And took two toddlers to the zoo
On a snowy New Years Day

This woman had become forgotten
In the ensewing years of pain and constant illness
Now I marvel at meeting her again
A bit older, more confident, and wiser
An old refrain with a new melody

Driving

by Cheryl Merrick

Fearfully, I take my position
    with both hands gripping the wheel
   and both feet hovering over the pedals.
Hesitantly I turn the key.

Jerkily, I proceed
    constantly gazing into my mirrors,
    ever anxious to please,
    ever seeking conformation from others
that I’m heading the right direction.

Dancing

by Cheryl Merrick

I really tried to march,
     Though some claim
     I should have tried harder,
but my feet,
quickly boring of the monotonous cadence,
kept adding skips and hops,
and I kept leaping out of ranks
     to see an ant hill with a child,
     study some book,
     or comfort a friend.

Finally, as a flunked recruit,
I decided to get rid of all
the “required” guides and paraphernalia.
At last, in a world of simplicity,
I found room to dance.

Appreciating Differences

by Cheryl Merrick

Young, still focused
on myself
I naively, yearned for
reassurance of my worth
in sameness
by trying to remake
my husband, mother, children,
friends and neighbors
in my image

Now, many years later,
as I see my children
wanting to “improve” me.
I just smile and remember.

At last, accepting my own uniqueness,
I can finally truly appreciate
other’s differences
and thoroughly enjoy
just being me.

Gifts

by Cheryl Merrick

Like a forgotten gift
gathering dust in
a deserted room,
the unused talent lies.

Unappreciated;
lost amid pressing demands,
and buried under laundry and dishes,
it remains,

Till, one day,
in a moment of
quiet reflection,
the older woman
comes across
the small gift
so carelessly overlooked
in younger, busier times.

Opening it, she discovers
a small treasure
which she, at last,
joyfully begins to share
with those around her.

Fitness

by Cheryl Merrick

Not Me!

As a child,
I looked with disdain
at older people.

Didn’t they have any pride?

Why didn’t they
take care of themselves?

Look at that old woman:
tennis shoes and socks,
short, short hairstyle,
punchy stomach,
wrinkled skin,
and flabby arms
and body.

Doesn’t she want
to be fit and attractive?

Doesn’t she care?

Competition

by Cheryl Merrick

The young women glance around
     comparing themselves to each other,
     ranking their competition,
     with a much practiced eye for details.
Constantly anxious of their appearance
     they worry through their days,
     vying for the attention
of the young men.

As the days became years;
     many, many years,
In the security of an eternal relationship,
     her anxiousness mellowed
     into a comfortableness with herself.
Though sometimes,
     glancing at her matronly figure,
     she wistfully remembers
     those days of competition.

Settling Down

by Cheryl Merrick

Finally our life is settling down
Our business seems to be solidly  on its way
and my husband is enjoying doing
maintenance work for companies
We have time to be together,
visit with others,
and do things around our home
My strength and energy is increasing
as the stress is lessening
Our home is simple and
the plastics are mainly gone or in the den
I am learning to set limits in my life
Particularly limiting details--
LDS.org feedback, family history, emails, etc.
to just two hours a day
And reserving time and energy
for study, meditation, writing, and thinking
The days of constantly pushing ourselves
Are Over
Things are finally
Settling Down

Solid Ground

by Cheryl Merrick

We were trying,
but peace was gone and stress was increasing.
Why were we feeling so stressed
with our business, our home, my health,
working at the post office, volunteering at the school,
family relationships, and serving in the Church?