Friday, March 25, 2016

Ruled by Emotion


Feeling
I had to choose,
I suppressed my needs
to meet theirs.

Accepting
that study, thinking, and writing
are mere recreation
to be indulged in only when
ALL “my work” was finished,
I spent my days diligently doing
one detail after another.

Overwhelmed
and with a deep sense of guilt,
I sought to hide
my creative gifts,
thinking them frivolous.

Considering
others’ hobbies
as having true value
and my interests as only play,
I put off doing what I enjoy.

Fearing
that being myself
would harm others,
I tried instead to be
the idealized wife and mother.

Burdened
with a sense of duty,
I tried to be what
I thought others
needed me to be.

And so,
Miserably
misunderstanding my mission,
I gave up being me and
attempted to be what I thought
I should be.

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