by Cheryl Merrick
They express their admiration and amazement
at my “positive attitude”.
They try and console me
and sympathize with how difficult it must be to be
to spend all day alone in my home.
Concerned that I am lonely, unhappy, and at risk of losing my testimony,
they try and involve me.
How can I explain my life to them?
How can I express the joy I feel in having the solitude
to think and write.
Though being alone is draining and depressing to them,
it is replenishing to me and an opportunity to create.
They are energized by physical activity and interacting with people.
Though I enjoy visiting with others and getting out some,
it takes a great deal of energy and tires me.
It is the quiet moments of reflection that fill my soul.
It is not days filled busily running around and chatting that I need,
but hours spent in meaningful activity–
serving as a Church service missionary, family history work,
writing for the Church, calling family and friends,
sending supportive emails to a couple hundred people a month,
keeping up three blogs, being my husband’s business partner,
studying the scriptures, seminary manuals, and Church magazines,
reading, learning, writing, and caring for our home and myself.
How can I explain that my life is not one of lonely emptiness,
but full to the brim with meaningful activity.