I Made it!

by Cheryl Merrick
Stepping into the large hall,
I am bombarded by the
movement, noise, and feelings
of a multitude of people.

Tightening my muscles,
I will myself to stand still
and not bolt out of the room.

Seeing a couple of older women I know,
I make myself walk over
and chat for a few moments.


Tense from trying to shut out all the holiday bustle,
I force myself to greet a few familiar faces.
I listen to the entertainment
and then leave as soon as possible.

As I collapse into my car seat in exhaustion,
my husband compassionately smiles
and reassures me that I had only been there an hour.
I could hardly believe it.
It seemed like at least two hours!

Am I afraid of people? No. I love people.
Do I have an anxiety disorder? No.
Am I crazy? No more than any mother
who has raised several children.

Then why do I suffer through a community social?
It is simple. I am just a very sensitive person
who enjoys people one at a time in a quiet environment.
I really want to know them, to be their friend, to help them.

To me all the people, noise, smells, emotions, and activity
of a holiday social is an overwhelming ordeal to be endured,
and after which, I sigh in relief,
"I made it!"