Rewriting My Life- a Year with Cancer

by Cheryl Merrick

Promising what was not mine to give,

I assured my preschool granddaughter

that I would be at her wedding someday,

till on my seventy first birthday,

I learned that I had cancer.

As I was given just three months to live,

all my dreams of spending the next

twenty years with my family,

dissolved as my tears washed away

my "script" for my life,

preparing me for a new and better "script".

When my granddaughter drew pictures for me

sharing her anticipated life,

and as I saw the sorrow in my husband's eyes,

I was filled with longing to be with my family,

and I cried some more.

My mortality hit hard as I remembered 

my four cousins who had died recently,

my uncle, brother-in-law, and step-father 

who had died the year previous,

and my brother who had died

just four months before.

Then, drying my tears and 

putting my trust in God's assurance

that I was being given a chance to heal,

I began to work.

I had four chemo treatments,

which though it put me into 

anaphylactic shock three times,

made my hair fall out, 

and made me nauseous and tired,

it also stopped the painful ascites swelling, 

and killed most of the cancer cells

with the remaining cancerous tumors 

being removed during my hysterectomy surgery.

Now, though my cancer is in remission,

I must take medication 

to keep the cancer from returning,

which, since I have the BRCA2 gene mutation,

my body is unable to do.

As my "script" has been rewritten,

I feel grateful for all the miracles 

I've experienced as my body has healed,

but even more for the healing

of my heart and family relationships.

Though more difficult, dramatic, and perhaps shorter,

than my comfortable planned "script" for my life,

this last year has taught me to trust my "Author" 

to make my story truly great.