Turning on My Light

by Cheryl Merrick

Long have I existed,

conforming to the pull

for momentary harmony,

mirroring back to others

what they wanted to see.

Dejected, I sulked

in this semi-darkness

longing for understanding

and for the approval 

to share my light.

Finally, recognizing that

darkness can not 

comprehend the light,

I resolve to be 

who I am and bravely

turn on My Light.

Being Healed

By Cheryl Merrick

For years I pled
to immediately be healed.
When it didn't happen,
I resignedly accepted
my "learning experiences"
and wearily plodded through life.

Now, after nearly 50 years
of unhappily bemoaning
my burden of "poor health", 
I'm grateful that my requests
for the strength to perform
endless homemaking details
were not granted.

Deepening Understanding

By Cheryl Merrick

Reading through my required 
scripture assignment,
I merely sip the Spirit,
but only when 
I read to understand,
taking time to ponder
related scriptures,
do I truly drink of 
the waters of life.

What Have I Chosen?

by Cheryl Merrick

Rushing through the day, 
I exclaim, 
"There is so much to do--
Meals to prepare,
Kids to take places,
Errands to run, and
House to clean!"

At the day's end,
I collapse into bed,
tired and discouraged,
waking only to face,
another day of the same.

Wearily, as I plead through prayer
for the strength to do all my tasks,
the words, "But one thing is needful:
and Mary hath chosen that good part",
come to my mind,
leaving me to consider,
"What part have I chosen?"

A Delicate Balance

by Cheryl Merrick

Often Falling over,
I struggle to find my balance;
Too much time with people,
and I am drained of energy;
Too much time focused within,
and I lose my voice.

Ever having to choose 
Between socializing,
 and loneliness;
Between empathizing 
 and analyzing;
Between creating in my mind,
 and sharing my insights with others;
Between knowing others,
 and knowing myself;
Between helping others,
 and replenishing my energies;
Between doing details, 
 and generating solutions;
Between the outside world,
 and the inside world;
I must choose
as I seek my own
delicate balance. 

Comparing Apples to Oranges

by Cheryl Merrick
As the oranges declare
that having a thick skin
is the most practical way to be,
I despair aware of my own thin skin.

The bounce competition was a nightmare.
Not only did it not make me juicer,
but instead left me badly bruised.

Out in the Stillness

by Cheryl Merrick

When I was young, 
people who were quiet
were considered "defective".
They were seen as
malformed extraverts, 
"cold and withdrawn".
It was even whispered 
that they were "mentally ill."  
"Good", "mature" people were
friendly extraverts -- 
only they were truly loving.

This Year I'll Be Me

by Cheryl Merrick

Many years ago 
when my children were young, 
I loved being a mom/teacher.
I loved sharing new ideas 
with my children
and watching them develop
their special talents.

What I did not enjoy was 
all the innumerable details.
Though the kids helped,
I often felt overwhelmed
and depressed by all the
places to go, details to remember,
food to cook, clothes to wash,
and things to clean.

You Can't Get There from Here!

by Cheryl Merrick

I sit there staring 
at the blank screen--
mind empty.
Why is nothing coming?

I have waited all day 
for this moment. 
I did all my household tasks;
I answered all my emails;
and now when the time
has arrived--nothing!

For a while,
I sit there quietly, 
then looking up 
I finally know that
You can't get there from here.