How did it happen?

by Cheryl Merrick

When did I become overstressed?
How did it happen?
Was it in all the hours I held
     my colicly newborn grandson?
Was it when I moved our things 
     out into the garage,
     so we could paint our home?
Did it happen during all those summer 
     months living in our garage?

Did tending my three year old grandaughter
     in our garage and trying to keep her happy,
    drain my energy?
Was it the weeks I spent diligently
     labeling family history photos?
Was dealing with my mother 
     after my step-father's death 
     beyond my ability to cope?
What about the physical strain 
     of losing fifty pounds in one year?
Did I neglect to allow for 
     the pain of my injuries
     and the strain of my allergies?
Did all the chemicals 
     I was exposed to weaken me?
In all my efforts to help others,
     when did I quit dancing to music 
     and creating poems?
When did I lose my sense of me?